Tuesday, April 04, 2006

I'm Just Not That Into Them

There are so many self-help books out there. I vacillate between dabbling in "He's Just Not That Into You" and "The Purpose-Driven Life." My book choices are as schizophrenic as my love life, so I feel perfectly justified.

I was supposed to stay home this past Saturday night and rest up for the next day--one of this spring's many bachelorette festivities I am involved in.

Of course I went out, and of course I was over-served. Long story short, I end up back at my place with a boy. Yet another guy from college (hey, at least I am keeping the random wierdos to a bare minimum). We only fooled around a little--didn't have sex (as my friend told the whole bachelorette party Sunday, 'I know you didn't have sex because I think you've sworn it off or something."

At one point during the hookup, I found myself looking over his shoulder and yawning. Even rolling my eyes with boredom. This can't be normal.

I am such a dichotomy--I am absolutely reveling in my single-ness, embracing my ME time, except I want someone regular to hook up with that I am attracted to. My bartender friend who had such possibility has been inexplicably not so warm to me the last couple of times I've seen him. Meanwhile, M.--my other bartender friend going nowhere--called me the other day to, what else? tell me about his life in the bar. I still feel guilty about him a little bit. I am a broken record and am once again boring myself.

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