Saturday, January 07, 2006

Staying in, alone, on a Saturday night

Is there anything intrinsically wrong with staying in alone on a Saturday night? Luckily, I don't have a cat, or five.

I go out about five nights a week and have tons of friends so this is certainly not a pity-party, at least not entirely. I'm really trying to undertsand why staying home alone on this particular night feels like a failure or something. I guess the main reason is because it's the universal fun night, the night when all the investment bankers and lawyers and other corprate cogs throw down, blow some lines and head to Marquee (or at least try to!).

M. and I hardly used to have conventional Saturdays, given our geographical disparity. In fact, I was walking through the West Village today thinking to myself (or maybe telepathizing to him) about what a terrible boyfriend (though not by any means a terrible person) he really was. He never made nearly enough effort to see me, or when he did, he always had one of his loser friends tagging along.

I think two things are making me ponder my Saturday night pajamas positioning. One, I woke up at 3 a.m. last night at first to the sounds of my neighbors wailing along to their new karaoke machine. M. would have definitely been the one relegated to going over to tell them to shut the fuck up. Now I suffer in silence. The other thing bothering me was that I dreamt all night about my new discovery that M. is dating someone. I literally had near-nightmares about it. In reality I have no idea what the ho looks like but in my imagination and dreams, she's a tiny, submissive Asian. M. loves Asian porn. Oh, and I just remembered the third thing bothering me and that is that C., the guy who I fantasized about over Christmas, has as of yet not called me as scheduled upon his return from HIS vacation yesterday. Now, in a way, that turn of events is a blessing in disguise because I have picked at a volcanic zit on my face for the last two days and it's a gross crusty mess. Cheers to staying in on a Saturday.

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