Friday, January 13, 2006

Dating a Celebrity

Help, I don't know how.

So I met said TV celebrity at an event recently. He's older and quirky and we chatted for a while and definitely (I promise I am not living in a fantasy world, at least on this part) had a "connection." Chat a couple of more times during the event, then I have to leave to go on my date with C. Fuck fuck fuck!

Celeb doesn't ask me out when I briefly say goodbye to him and I decide I am NOT going to be a tool and slip him my card or something. Instead, I have thirty or so drinks with C., come home, and drunk-email the publicist for the event, who I had also chatted with at the party and exchanged cards with. I ask her between us girls if it would be a total stretch if I got in touch with the celebrity and asked him out for a drink.

Oh, by the way, one thing I forgot to say was that at one point after I finished talking to the celebrity, the publicist said, "Wow, he liiiikes you!"

Anyway, she wrote back the next day, and said she would absolutely look into it on the sly and said he told her he had fun chatting with me. Emails me later, said he was slammed with work and she was still waiting to hear back and would get in touch with me the minute she did.

That was about 24 hours ago and I am on freaking pins and needles waiting! The only solution to my recent money anxiety-induced insomnia has been to daydream about him and the life we might have together. Full discolsure, I matched our horoscopes online to determine our compatibility (we're good!). I am such a sick fuck! I would really like to know who I think I am that I think I actually have a chance with this dude, becase he is actually really fucking famous, albeit lower-key. Like, he doesn't employ his own publicist, just uses the one from his show.

I think in truth my chances are fifty-fifty. I mean, he has to admire my balls, right? If the position was reversed and some hot, non-famous guy asked me out with confidence, I would definitely say yes (is this wishful thinking??!!)

I know I'm smart but what if I choke when we're out. What would we talk about?!

Anais Nin said, "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." So I'm braking The Rules but how the hell else am I supposed to get his attention?

I am never in a million years going to be able to concentrate on my date with tonight's victim, B.

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